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| Author: The Arbinger Institute
Creator: Arbinger Institute
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Category: Book
List Price: $15.95
Buy New: $10.85
You Save: $5.10 (32%)
Rating:  208 reviews
Sales Rank: 1248
Media: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 192
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.5
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7
ISBN: 1576751740
Dewey Decimal Number: 658
EAN: 9781576751749
Publication Date: February 9, 2002
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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| Customer Reviews:
 Not Self-Deception, Deception Of Others August 22, 2001
31 out of 52 found this review helpful
Socrates would wince. But, the old Sophists of ancient Greece would say, "well done"! And it IS well done, if you need and are looking for barely more than a sound-bite length, quick-fix for your personality. But, to start with, "LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION" is barely a "book". It's more like a hardcover pamphlet. More important, it's not about leadership. It's another nice little "how-to", based on subjective opinion and psychology. And therefore, ironically, it's out of the "box" through unintentional deception of others --- you, the reader. In my opinion, if you're serious about leadership, the premier "book of leadership" to read is "WEST POINT" by Norman Thomas Remick for anyone in any field of endeavor.
surprisingly simple and over-rated August 8, 2005
31 out of 46 found this review helpful
I expected more than this:
People problems are at the root of most problems.
Self deception affects every aspect of life; it is the central problem of leadership.
More than your external behavior, people respond to how you feel about them. Do you see them as full persons or as objects or problems? They can tell. When you see others as less than full persons, you are "in the box" toward them. The box is a metaphor for our resistance to seeing and honoring others as full persons.
Self-deception is caused by:
1. Self-betrayal (an act contrary to what you feel you should do for another)
2. THEN self-justification of the self-betrayal.
The fundamental self-betrayal at work is: failing to do what you are hired to do - failing to fully help your organization achieve results.
Self-deception causes us to be "in the box":
1. inflating others' faults
2. inflating my virtues
3. blaming others
4. being self-centered
Being in the box feeds self-deception making a vicious cycle.
How to get out of the box:
You are out the moment you desire to be out of the box -- the moment you desire to see and treat others as full persons
Nothing will get you out without real desire to be out.
not trying to change others
not coping with others
not leaving
not communicating
not skills or techniques
not new behaviors
Summary:
1. Be out of the box: desire to see and honor others as full persons
2. THEN stay out of the box: really DO what you feel you should do, doing the best you can in your circumstances. This must include: really focus on results, solutions and what you can do to help, be accountable and responsible, really be open to correction, really seek to learn, and actively seek to teach.
Is any of this something you didn't know?
It is all good, but is it 5 star content?
Tell me what I am missing, please.
Instead, check out:
"Change the World" by Quinn
and
"Getting Things Done when You are not in Charge"
Brainwashing 101 May 24, 2006
30 out of 56 found this review helpful
The only thing masterful about this book is its use of cult tactics to sell the "Arbinger three phase result system." Here's how I would summarize the book:
1. The author attempts to reduce the reader's self-esteem by leading him to identify with the main character, Tom, who has clearly mistreated those around him.
2. If someone's self-esteem is too low, they focus on themselves and will be less receptive to new messages, so the author is careful to keep Tom and the reader looking for a solution, while comforting both with the hope for change.
3. The author tries to enhance the credibility of the teachers by telling the reader how this technique has made their lives and company so much better. Naturally these fictional teachers are very likable, understanding and wise characters.
4. Now that the reader is softened up, the author presents a simple, believable message: "think about others" (also known as the golden rule).
I believe those reviewers who said nice things about this book, did so because the author's cult tactics are very effective, and I am sorry for those who fell victim. Those reviewers were looking for a simple answer to life's difficult interpersonal conflicts, and naturaly, when they thought about others a little more, they received some positive results. This reinforced the message and credibility of the book in their mind, and now they are singing praises while looking to buy phases 2 and 3. Well done Arbinger, from the reviews, I see they have discipled plenty of followers, and I'd bet in phases 2 and 3, they move from the above cult member "get-tactics" to "keep-tactics."
Maybe you're thinking this is just a good leadership idea presented in a convincing story. But personally, I was not only dissatisfied with this book, I was outraged at their use of unethical persuasion tactics. I believe the author purposely aims to diminish the reader's ability to think rationally and choose freely.
I was also disgusted by the cult tactic where they encourage you to recruit your family members to be brainwashed as well. Yuck!!
If you get taken in by this type of book, you aren't thinking for yourself, and Arbinger (or Covey) will gladly tell you what to do, but it isn't leadership. This book is not only worthless, it's detrimental to your intelligence! So, my recommendation if you do read this book, is to stay sharp and pay attention to what the author is doing. Or better yet, read another book, many other books, preferably factual books written by real-life leaders. I'd also encourage you to use critical thinking to develop your own ideas about leadership.
 It's More Than a Book... June 2, 2000
25 out of 28 found this review helpful
Leadership and Self-Deception is more than a book. It's a powerful key to change--personal and professional. Don't expect to read it without being transformed, at least if you read it honestly. It speaks to the heart of human relations isues like not other business book I have encountered. I was stunned, and I'd have to say awakened, by its explanation of interpersonal problems--and I mean the whole range of problems. And I love how the ideas unfold in fiction where I met myself fact to face in the stories of the characters in the book. I truly could not put it down--nor can I resist picking it back up, pondering and applying it. It ranks way at the top of the most powerful life-changing pieces of literature I've read in my lifetime. A must-read for everyone in and outside of business.
 Very simple, very good October 7, 2005
24 out of 25 found this review helpful
I hate business books. Hate them.
My parents and siblings practically insisted I read Stephen Covey's jargon-rich "The Seven Habits..." and I got as far as something about the "P/PC principle" before deciding I'd had too much. Just seeing print ads for "Who moved my cheese?" makes me want to vomit.
That said, this is not really a business book. It's a book about truly being a better person, and by being a better person, being a better spouse, parent, boss, friend, citizen, and employee. The whole concept of the book is one simple idea: treat people as if they're people, not as if they're objects.
Some car cuts you off in traffic?
Get mad!
No. A car didn't cut you off. A person did. Why? Why would a person do that? Have YOU yourself ever cut someone off? You did? Why did you?
"Well, I was in a hurry. I was late for an appointment...."
Well, maybe that guy was too....
Using this simple approach, the world can be a much nicer place, you can spend a lot less time being angry or frustrated, and you could end up liking people a lot more.
Unlike books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People," this book is not about tricks, or flattery, or social politics. It's about truly seeing people as real individuals, and then, it doesn't matter what you need to say to them, as long as they can tell you realize they're a real human being with real needs and concerns. Because to truly see someone, is to truly value them.
This book isn't perfect--it uses some pretty fruity terminology at times, its format of a boss talking with an employee is a little cheesy, and it ends abruptly--but it could change your life nonetheless. One reviewer said, "Upon finishing this book, I felt like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning," and I'd have to agree.
In fact, I'm going to re-read it, and get that feeling back again.
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